The Imperfect World of T.S. And O.C.D.

I live in a world that doesn't make sense. One minute my body is under my control. Then I'll turn around and be twitching, barking and saying things that make no sense. And tapping. Always with the tapping!

My tapping has gotten worse, and gets on people's nerves. I wish I could explain why I do it, and explain how it's just as annoying to me too, if not worse. I describe it as an itch. Similar to a tic but a little different. The OCD is slightly easier to ignore but only by a hair. I don't know why I have to follow through with the tapping. Some nights I can't even go to bed without checking windows, doors and the stove and tapping them. I tell myself it's stupid and unreasonable, but it still goes on, and I can't ignore it anymore than if someone was sitting next to you whispering in your ear, 'check the door.' 'Tap seven times.' 'Did you leave the stove on?' 'Do it, do it, DO IT!' It's a wonder I haven't completely gone mad!

 The only relief I ever get aside from sleeping is signing. Some people find peace in music, dance, acting; I find peace in ASL. If I am having a conversation in sign language, sign a song, or am practicing vocabulary and grammar, I don't tic and my anxieties seem to melt away. That's one of the many wonders of this odd syndrome. Though I'm not going to question it. :)

Though the question that keeps popping up in my head: If I was deaf and had to sign all the time, would is have ever experienced symptoms?
What a strange world.

Stigma, bullies, and the sort (graphic)

Since it is currently Tourette Syndrome Awareness Month (May 15 - June 15), I have been nonstop posting awareness videos, pictures and websites on all my social media pages. Though today, I got in a few fights with some ignorant, intolerant and frankly, disgusting boys.
I put teal highlights in my hair and painted my nails teal (teal is the color of Tourette's like pink is the color of breast cancer) and took a picture. I posted it on a website called Whisper with a caption reading, "I have Tourette's, but Tourette's doesn't have me". Nothing could have prepared me for the responses. Disgusting comments came pouring in.
"I'm rock hard"
"You're sexy- more pics!"
They got worse and worse. I have never blocked more people in one hour (let alone one day) in my life! All it was was a picture of my face! I was showing off my teal hair. Apparently, going with the common misconception that everyone with Tourette's swears, it attracts more guys than milkshakes in the yard.
Though, as you may know I do have Coprolalia (swearing and offensive language), I didn't dear admit that to these boys. I tried at first to educate them. "Only about 10% of people with TS swear. It's called Coprolalia" I told them the jokes they were making were not funny to me. I asked them to stop. That just made it worse. I ignored it, but the comments kept coming in. I logged off and came back on an hour later and more disturbing comments greeted me. To say I was furious would be an understatement. I was less pleasant. I told them "Shut up", "F*ck Off", I even made a new Whisper post stating, 'I will not, nor will I ever send "sexy" or nude pictures. You have two hands, solve your own problems." Uncalled for? Perhaps. By this point though, I didn't care. I began blocking people left and right. However not fast enough to avoid a few comments to my new Whisper.
"Yeah, two hands. One for each boob." I couldn't resist. "Oh you have boobs. I'm sorry, I thought only girls had those. Maybe you should get that looked at. *BLOCK*
I never thought I'd be hassled like this for trying to spread awareness. Made fun of? Sure. I was prepared for swearing jokes and stuff like that; but sexual harassment? Good Lord.
I won't take my pictures down. I won't stop spreading awareness. I won't let these guys get the best of me. I will not let them win. I will not let Tourette's win. I will keep posting. I will keep barking and twitching till Tourette's is not the punchline of  a stupid joke.

Potentially Employed

I have gotten a call from a local pet store for a job interview. I am so excited but so scared. My Tics have been really enthusiastic. I went back and forth if I should just wait to tell my potential boss about my TS. The American's with Disabilities Act (ADA) forbids them from asking and discriminating me for it and we can only discuss it if I bring it up or my disability makes my ability to do my job difficult.
After a while of thinking I decided to be open and honest with theme even bring in my Medical ID cards. I even looked up some common interview questions and wrote down how I might answer them, and waved in positive things about my TS.
When asked to describe myself, I explain how my TS has helped shape me into a positive person, made me sensitive to other's disabilities and very empathetic, not to mention able to laugh at myself.
I say a weakness of mine is I take a little longer to do some tasks such as cleaning because my OCD makes me want things just so. On the plus side, I have been known to be a very thorough cleaner!
If they ask me if I have any questions for them, I plan on asking if they have ever hired anyone else with Tourette's or any other disability, and how they got along in the store. Mostly, I just want to see if they have had any positive or negative past with a disabled person of any kind. If it's negative, I will aim to be better. If the answer is positive, well, I have some big shoes to fill!!! :)
Well, my interview is in 10 hours. Wish me luck!!!