I was out to dinner today with my dad, and there was three separate families aside from us and the looks I got made me uncomfortable.
The children were obviously just as uncomfortable, if not more. The parents tried to get them to ignore me, but shot me looks that spelled out, "shut up."
Which ironically was the tic I was doing. I couldn't stop yelling, "SHUT UP!" and jerking my head and tapping the table. I also yelled, "Nark." A few times.
Dad told me that if they don't say anything to me, I shouldn't say anything to them. I wanted to though. I wanted to explain to them why I was shouting and twitching. Anything to get those cold eyes to stop drilling holes in my skull.
On a happier note, tomorrow... er... Today I guess technically; my dad is going to call a Nerologist and set up an appointment. Since dad works for Aurora, and we heard of an amazing Nerologist who has Tourette Syndrome and both his children have it too, and works for Aurora; we are calling him. Of corse the only down side is he is located roughly two hours away from where I live, but hey, I heard from multiple families at a Tourette's meet-up that he is the best doctor that they had ever had, so two hours seems worth it for guaranteed good hands.
I am very excited about this, because I am about this close to getting a name for whatever is causing my tics. Having a nameless problem is not all it's cracked up to be. I sort of feel like Wonderer/Wanda from the movie 'The Host', where she is sitting on the mountain kissing a boy and Melanie yells at her to stop. The boy leaves and Wanda is sitting there and says, "It's weird being in a body that won't let me use it." Yes it is. It sucks.
Honestly, I don't know if anyone is reading this, but just posting my story helps me feel like someone out there, besides my handful of family and friends who are still with me actually cares. So if you are reading, thank you.
Have a Tic-Tastic Day!!!
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